The Morning After

These top 25er mini bio things are all the rage on Facebook right now.  Here is mine.

01) I love Greek food.  If an evil genie said, “for the rest of time you will only be allowed to eat the same meal everyday, what meal will it be?”  I would say Greek… and I wouldn’t consider him an evil genie.

02) This one is new (to me anyway).  Apparently I fart in my sleep.  The night after the Super Bowl, Coral woke me up because I was stinking up the bedroom.  I personally think, Coral dreams of farts.  Why didn’t she include THAT in her 25?

03) I got bullied a bunch in Grade 8 by two different dudes.  One was this giant fat guy named… Jeremy, neat huh.  And he used to rail on me about my weight… like WTF right?  So I peaced that scene and hung out in the tech lab with the other nerds where I deserved to be.  But then this alpha nerd that wore real boss 80s John Cougar Mellancampesque Jean jackets took a hate on for me and he’d always try to kick my ass.  I did what any self respecting nerd would do and told on the guy.  But that backfired pretty harsh and I got my ass kicked twice as hard.  That solved the me hanging out in the tech lab issue and I learned a valuable lesson… the “man” can not save you from dudes trapped in the 80s.  Only Doc Brown can.

04) When not actively locking horns with my day I live in either: a song or: a fantasy world.

05) You ever see that movie “Role Models?”  And the McLovin guy is into medieval sword fighting in the park… yeah.

06) One time on a camping trip to some lake by Quesnel, me and my brothers created an entire fantasy world out of sand and mud and twigs and garbage and stuff.  One of the towns was called Mudtown.  In Mudtown there was a baseball stadium and the local team was called the Mudtown Seekers.  I have always wanted to visit there and catch a game.

07) Speaking of baseball… when I was a kid, I used to follow baseball, like… a lot, a lot.  Now I don’t at all.  Its like the Expos had the World series snatched away because of some bullshit players strike, then the team moved and I stopped caring about baseball.  I still have my baseball jerseys and I like looking at them.

08 ) I think a girl that wears a baseball jersey is pretty cute.

09) I worked at Starbucks for a long time.  I like that place.  People bash that company non-stop.  I used to care, but now I don’t (but I still do).

10) About the time I stopped caring about baseball I was hanging out with these girls.  One of the girls had a bit of a drug problem and a bit of a have sex with boys to get drugs problem.  I wish I had been a better friend to her.

11) I work too much… but I also don’t work hard enough.  And I spend most my day paralyzed.

12) When I got a job at the Zone, I planned to stay in Victoria for two years.

13) I used to deliver Discorder magazine to Seattle every month.  I got paid $100 which at the time equaled about $65 US dollars.  $20 had to go in the tank of my Dodge Colt.  The rest I spent on a taco in Bellingham on the way down the I5 and the remainder on dinner in a different restaurant every time I went to Seattle.  On the way down I would listen to Seattle radio stations.  I wandered around Seattle with a few bucks in my pocket dropping off magazines at all these hipster joints till it got late and drove home that evening.  I have had a LOT of jobs in my day, and that was my favourite.

14) My favourite holiday was a trip Coral I took to Seattle.  Coral was pregnant, so there was not much in the way of crazy sex or massive nights partying.  Just hanging out all day together, wandering around, seeing bands, shopping, eating and holding hands.

15) My favourite “business” trip was the time James and I got to see Tool in Seattle.  The “winners” we escorted were two very underwhelming people and I sometimes found it hard to not laugh when James was so passive aggressively cordial to them.  We drank on a patio on 2nd avenue in the sun and James made friends with these locals and for two hours we were all the best of buds… then we left.  We sat front row at the Paramount to see Tool and the next morning we got to charge our breakfast to the radio station!  Then we booked it to the Lake Union to get on a Harbour Seaplane to FLY home…  and I was like, whoa… this must be how rock stars live.

16) It makes me want to light a giraffe on fire when people comment on Madelyn’s physical attributes in a judgmental way.  She’s a baby.  One day she’ll give herself a hard enough time about her appearance and spend all my money on superficial shit… but right now… she has four teeth and not much hair, and that’s fine.  I am sure in a year, she’ll have hair and maybe one day teeth… but half the Canucks don’t have teeth and they’re all millionaires… so teeth don’t = success.

and people ask me all the time, “hey Jeremy, how is being a Dad?”

I don’t know… fine I guess.  Like I’d recommend having a kid before buying Sirius XM stock…

I want to say “easy and fun”… but people tell me it should be neither… then I feel guilty… cuz right now, it is.

17) Madelyn is sorta named after Madeleine Stowe.  I saw the movie, “The Last of the Mohicans” when I was a younger lad and thought the name Madeleine was such a pretty and unique name (which maybe it was in 1992).  But now Madelyn is like the 59th most popular name in the US of A… so yeah.  I should watch more movies… expand my horizons.

Coral says it is “my name” so she gets o name the next one.  I was like cool… so she picked Ophelia if we have a girl.  I love it… I said, “rad, I am going to all her Ophie!”

I think Coral is dreaming up a new girl’s name.

18 ) I hate when people complain about music.  If you start a sentence with me that begins with, “I hate that (or this) song,” then I am sad.  I am far more interested in which song(s) you love.

19) I used to really dig Nickelback.  When I was younger me and my friends would drive to wherever they were playing to see them.  onetime they were playing at a race track in Surrey and it was a 19+ show.  We all drove out and tried to walk in like we were 19 but alas the “man” caught up to us and started to kick us out.  I out up his big stink about how we should be allowed to stay because we were all such huge fans and drove all the way from Coquitlam to see Nickelback… the man turfing us didn’t seem to impressed and then… Chad Kroeger walks by.  So I say, “Hey Chad, get over here (that’s how it was back in the day, we were first name buds!);” I says, “Hey Chad, this guy is trying to kick us out, you won’t let that happen cuz you stand up for fans right?”

He said, “sorry guys, but if the man says you have to leave, you have to leave.”  And he shrugged and walked away… no hug or anything.  And I was like… fuck you man.

But I forgave.

And Nickelback played this show up at Grouse Mountain for Canada Day.  Once again, the Triber and I journey to see the great maned one.  I crawled that grind to the top.  Stood in line for my burger and muscled up to the front to bang some head to Nickelback’s glorious Cancon rock!  ROAR!

After the set my nationalism was on overdrive and me and my friends started yelling to Chad to sing “O Canada.”  Chad started coiling up his mic chords and said he wouldn’t sing it.  We kept pestering him and he finally snapped and said he wouldn’t play it but here is bloody mic, sing it yourself.

Wow, I couldn’t believe my luck, Chad invited us on stage to lead the pack in a stirring rendition of our National anthem.  We all scamper on stage and grab the mic and begin to sing and….  the fucker cut the power!  WTF?  Chad Kroeger hates Canada.

Defeated I slinked away.

20) I have been suspended from broadcasting only a handful of times.  One time on CiTR I referred to Italians as “greasy.”  Bad.  That cost me a week at CiTR.

Another time I yelled (or said… I can’t remember… I was mighty drunk) fuck into the mic at the BCIT’s radio station.  That got me suspended for a week too.  Many people think I got kicked out of BCIT for that stunt.  That is untrue.  i got suspended for a week from classes and banished from the airwaves of CFML.  But I finished the semester.  At the beginning of forth semester I was strongly encouraged by a staff member to drop out, so I did.

It all worked out for the best b/c I am mighty happy with my life… and had I finished BCIT back in what??? 2001 instead of 2003?  Who knows how hings would have turned out?  Madelyn would not be my daughter and I would have never delivered papers for Discorder… so those are two things right there.

21) Anyways… I am a big believer in fate.  Everything happens for a reason.  Choices made today have profound influences on the future.  So I try not to sweat the little things.

22) When I grow up, I am going to have a room that has the sole purpose of being a listening lounge.  There will be two chairs (one for me and one for Coral) and these two comfy chairs will face out towards a window.  On each side of the chairs there will be a table to set down my cocktail and/or bong, book and whatnots.  Between the two chairs will be the controls to my listening devices and they will be there.  Reel-to-reel tapes?  you bettcha!  There will be a rug and groovy lights and incense.  Then racks of computers, records, CDs, music shit… recording gear and whatever.  And I’ll live in my lair and make radio shows and listen to music and hangout and read a trillion billion books.  Then one day I’ll die and I’ll be hanging out in heaven and the  evil genie will be all, “hey man, how was a lifetime of Greek food?”  and I’ll say, “pretty good.”

23) I want to create something that people truly love (if I get paid for it… well now that would be special).  I also want to make a cartoon… so maybe I’ll make a really lovable Disney character??? I dunno.

24)  I try not to have too many regrets… but I kinda wished I went to University instead of BCIT.  I hung out at UBC for 5 years?  Can I get a degree in being a music snob and drinking?

25)  My second favourite thing to do is wander around cities by myself.  My favourite thing to do is wander around cities with Coral (and now with Coral and Madelyn).

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Do you ever get that sensation where maybe you pick up a smell or aroma, then all of a sudden you are transported back in time?

yeah me neither… that’s crazy talk.

***

Tonight, I was DJing (that sentence does not sound right, tonight I was Djing… hmmm)… I was DJing at The Clubhouse last night.  Grinding through my set when I picked up a scent wafting through the place.  It really screwed with my head because I suddenly had feeling that I have not had in like six years but I also could not exactly place it.  It was not till after my set, and I was driving home in the light rain and cold that it came to me.  I was back in Vancouver over the winter of ’02/’03.  I worked at a hotel and the smell of the Clubhouse reminded me, very strongly of that time.  As I drove home it was very overwhelming.

Before I came ot work at the Zone, I worked at a hotel in Vancouver called The Westin Bayshore.  I answered the phones.  I monitored security cameras.  I facilitated communications.  I drafted up the daily staff newsletter.  I did all this during the graveyard shift.  My office or work station was in the bowels of this giant hotel that had a billion employees.  At night, there were far fewer of us on so it was a little more manageable knowing everyone.  For the most part it was a good job.  I got the job at a time in my life when I really needed it.  I was broke.  Now I am generally in a constant state of broke-ness, but at that time, I felt hopelessly broke.  I was 22, slinging lattes at Starbucks for $9 an hour.  I had dropped out of broadcast school and  was DJing at CiTR for no money.  My band was pretty much done.  When I was 21, not a bad life… but by 22 something had to give.  I reapplied to finish up my diploma at BCIT and on a tip from a Starbucks coworker, I applied as a banquet server at the Westin Bayshore.  My buddy Roland said it would pay like $10!  holy shit… plus tips!  holy double shit!

Something odd happened.  I got a call from their HR.  The chick said, “are you sure you want this job?”

I said, “yes ma’am!  I’ll take ANY job.”

she replied, “well no, we have a better job for you.”

Turns out my sorta finished radio broadcasting diploma was just the thing the hotel needed, so they offered me a pretty sweet union gig with kinda steady hours if I was willing to consider a career with them and be willing to work overnights.

Rad, I promised the moon.

Then BCIT called… huzzah, I’m back in.

Conflict.

How to do both.  BCIT is sorta assholish with their… “you better make us your 100% priority, we don’t give a fuck what your personal story is.”  School is a 24 hour commitment there.  Plus… well it is RAYDEO school… and I had my fill of $8 an hour and getting treated like shit for some ginormous company… when on line 2 we have a ginormous corporation that pays their workers a living wage… at a time when I so badly needed a good wage… but tourism?  that was not my life goal.  Radio was.  BUT a living wage… fuck!  So much struggle for two years, getting by just barely, loving life as a hipster skid and then two choices.  What to bet on?

Well, I did what any good person faced with this choice would do, I lied.

I told the Westin, “yes sir!  I am super jazzed on being you’re new Service Express Agent.” and I told BCIT, “yes sir! I will the bestest student you ever had with no more immature shenanigans as was per me in the past.”

and I did both.

and it was fucking dumb hard.

and I kept working at Starbucks for some idiotic reason, but my manager there was really cool and Starbucks was the most flexible.  Plus, all my friends at that time of my life worked there…

and I kept DJing The Morning After Show at CiTR.

and did Childrens’ birthday parties with Alex on the weekends.

and one time I worked three 8 hours shifts, back-to-back-to-back  which was something I would not recommend… but my pay day at the end of the week was $1,000!  and it was the first time in my life that I had ever had a pay cheque for over $1,000.

I took a lot of sky train rides.  and walked in a lot of rain storms.  and filled in for workers at the hotel when I could (I had to, I was the on-call guy and in February it was slow and I wasn’t getting as many hours… and BCIT ain’t cheap).

The job at the Westin was both very interesting and really doltish.  It was cool because I had never worked for a high end hotel and learned lots about that business.  My job I was somehow given.  Most people that work in hotels seem to tourism people… they go to tourism school for a career in tourism… and I was that guy.   That guy that didn’t go to tourism school, that didn’t speak the lingo or wear black socks when everyone was supposed to wear black socks ( I seriously got pulled in for not wearing black socks one day… zoinks!).

They gave me a suit!  nice.  I looked good.  They fed me. The pay was awesome (for a 22 year old kid) and the job could be mind numbing crushing.  At night I read.  Every so often the on duty manager mucky muck would come down and blah blah blah about how I wasn’t supposed to read.  They’d leave, and I’d finish my book.  I read a lot.  Like a lot a lot.

NHL teams stayed at the hotel.  That was cool.  I was the guy that dealt with their late night sandwich requests.

There were exciting things that went down at night in the hotel, but that was not my bag… I sat in the crypt of the hotel and sent others to deal with the wacky shit.  I just monitored it.  Boring.  I listened to the radio… and good gravy did I really want to be on it.  When it was busy, I’d beg them to let deliver whatever the guests wanted or dream up excuses to wander the halls, but it was never any good.  I had to be at my post… monitoring things and answering phones that never rang at 3:54 AM.

The days past.  I was a zombie, going from school to work, to work, to bed, repeat.  I was living with Alex at the time on Commercial, and I didn’t get to see her very much.  She worked two jobs too.

Some how it all stayed glued together and it was spring.  Time to find a practicum for BCIT and time for the hotel to start filling up with guests.

For a BCIT practicum, you need to find a radio station that will let you work there for free for 30 days.  Its not as easy as you’d think.

My old boss at CFUN was now at a station that does not exist anymore called MOJO.  He said he’d get me on there which was the plan.  Then I could do my practicum, keep working at the hotel and graduate.

Then I had the idea… I worked so hard, maybe I could do my practicum in Hawaii?  so off a letter went to KPOI.  and still… the goal was to be a rock radio DJ so I sent out three demos to more practical stations.  One to Regina, one to Kamloops and one to Victoria.

Two radio stations got back to me… KPOI and The Zone.

Two Islands in the Pacific.  Now here’s the thing, I really wanted to go to KPOI, but I was concerned I wouldn’t get the job after the 30 days… but maybe Victoria will keep me.

I chit-chatted with my boss at The Westin, Stuart… and he was not very impressed with me.  WTF? Leaving him just before summer after he hired me and gave me hours during the slow season?  yeah, you didn’t want to be in that room.

So I picked Vic because, well, there was no, not getting a job… ya dig?

Starbucks was much cooler.  My boss there was a dude named Arlin and he said that if things went sour in Victoria I could come back to my old job at Starbucks and think about progressing to manager.  I thanked him but said, no offense, but I pray to god that will not come to pass.  Packed my bags and took the ferry to Victoria…

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